Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
