drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
