So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
