Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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