with your own penis?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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