Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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