Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
