fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
