His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
