I want to walk on stilts...naked
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize