Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
