Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
