why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
