Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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