You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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