Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize