Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
