just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
