i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
