You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
