Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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