the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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