I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
