Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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