That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize