I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
