What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
