He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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