I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
