That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
