U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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