drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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