So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
