I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
