so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
