i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
