Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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