Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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