he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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