Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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