Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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