Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
