I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
