i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I love you. Go after that dick
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
