I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
