just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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