I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
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She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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