I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize