It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
