the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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