I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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