he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
