I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
