erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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