Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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