...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
