i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
