Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
