how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days