Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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