first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.