Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.

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(506): Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites. http://tfl.nu/r5fj

Replies (19) Good night (3185) Bad night (811)
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(650): View more from California

I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

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(650): I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world. http://tfl.nu/egr4

Replies (31) Good night (6252) Bad night (2108)
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(914): View more from New York

How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?

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(914): How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German? http://tfl.nu/tyh7

Replies (27) Good night (1186) Bad night (5357)
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(434): View more from Virginia

just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!

(1-434): View more from Virginia

why is this not a picture message?!?!

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(434): just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score! (1-434): why is this not a picture message?!?! http://tfl.nu/992e

Replies (42) Good night (7652) Bad night (925)
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(410): View more from Maryland

hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)

(1-410): View more from Maryland

stop writing like that.

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(410): hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;) (1-410): stop writing like that. http://tfl.nu/yu8k

Replies (25) Good night (6834) Bad night (1352)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Dude she let me cum on her face

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning

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(843): Dude she let me cum on her face (1-843): You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning http://tfl.nu/f5g3

Replies (116) Good night (3505) Bad night (10397)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

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(+44): Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/nkcl

Replies (8) Good night (1043) Bad night (5645)
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(208): View more from Idaho

You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.

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(208): You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish. http://tfl.nu/85ra

Replies (9) Good night (569) Bad night (1608)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay

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(859): Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay http://tfl.nu/mr5s

Replies (5) Good night (626) Bad night (1032)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.

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(307): he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with. http://tfl.nu/pnh0

Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (469)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."

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(337): Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her." http://tfl.nu/whil

Replies (10) Good night (1733) Bad night (433)
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(917): View more from New York City

Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum

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(917): Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum http://tfl.nu/namq

Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (314)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life

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(519): Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life http://tfl.nu/r9i3

Replies (7) Good night (247) Bad night (492)
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(214): View more from Texas

I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.

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(214): I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing. http://tfl.nu/945s

Replies (14) Good night (1627) Bad night (309)
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(214): View more from Texas

On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.

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(214): On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded. http://tfl.nu/gjfr

Replies (3) Good night (490) Bad night (320)

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