I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.