so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He passed out mid-signature
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.