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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  he referred to my room as the tit cave...

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (207): View more from Maine

  He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.

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• (914): View more from New York

  This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Beer Popsicles are better in theory

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (516): View more from New York

  You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito

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• (214): View more from Texas

  This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that

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• (727): View more from Florida

  You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni

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