Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.

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  (405): I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat. http://tfl.nu/2u5h
  Replies (17) Good night (2632) Bad night (1043)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford

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  (804): so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford http://tfl.nu/pdng
  Replies (108) Good night (4306) Bad night (1048)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.

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  (361): She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation. http://tfl.nu/alpd
  Replies (24) Good night (1211) Bad night (5805)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls

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  (720): I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls http://tfl.nu/uqfq
  Replies (11) Good night (3920) Bad night (1227)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.

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  (806): I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/pksd
  Replies (4) Good night (1028) Bad night (4207)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  did i walk over a car last night?

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  (+61): did i walk over a car last night? http://tfl.nu/hd3i
  Replies (4) Good night (2109) Bad night (753)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  which one looks the most like her?

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  (704): help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up (919): which one looks the most like her? http://tfl.nu/a8tn
  Replies (31) Good night (1475) Bad night (3659)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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  (575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db
  Replies (9) Good night (2362) Bad night (886)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Jealous?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Very.

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  (903): This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits. (254): Jealous? (903): Very. http://tfl.nu/i9gx
  Replies (8) Good night (2629) Bad night (948)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.

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  (407): That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan. http://tfl.nu/f7sf
  Replies (13) Good night (2352) Bad night (790)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.

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  (412): Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon. http://tfl.nu/le72
  Replies (0) Good night (1014) Bad night (424)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am

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  (404): A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am http://tfl.nu/md1x
  Replies (0) Good night (814) Bad night (335)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.

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  (303): Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win. http://tfl.nu/fxme
  Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (497)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille

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  (610): My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille http://tfl.nu/iqrh
  Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (275)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.

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  (780): He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over. http://tfl.nu/kpf6
  Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (108)

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