at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
