This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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