So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize