Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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